http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphia
As I look back, I look at old pictures of myself where I think I look really great! However, at the time of the photo, I did not believe that I looked good. I'm certain that telling someone when they are in the moment that they look good will not get through. It seems more like the negative comments have more weight than the good. Even those we trust implicitly cannot get the message through that we look good. Why? Because what matters most is what we think about ourselves. It is not about the fact that we look good or not, it is about other things, such as if we feel successful and fulfilled in our lives. This is not a common theme for young people, as they are struggling to become the complex adult they wish to be.
So, how do we get through to these young men and women? Consider Equine Assisted Psychotherapy. Feedback does not come in a judgmental form, heck, it doesn't even come from other people. There are many people across the US and abroad who are using EAP as a method for treating eating disorders and body dysmorphia (for example Selah House and Timberline Knolls).
Some of the symptoms a parent or guardian might see that are a serious cause for concern are:
- cutting on legs and arms
- excessive piercings
- tattooing
- eraser burns on legs and arms
- withdrawn
- binge eating
- no eating
- excessive exercise
- not eating with others
- hoarding food
- not touching food such as not touching food with lips when eating
- obsessive and/or compulsive behaviors around food or exercise
Often, people with these symptoms are difficult to spot, they are not necessarily judgmental of others with weight or other physical problems. They are, however, very judgmental about themselves.
An example of a session could be to observe several different horses with different weights or trouble maintaining or dropping weight. Is the individual's observation of the appropriate weight of the horse accurate? If they see the ribs of the horse, do they believe the horse is too thin? If a horse is obese, do they notice? This activity can be a gauge of what the person observes in the environment, and may be helpful later when it is time to look into the 'mirror'. Which horse do they think represents themselves the most, and what about that horse reminds them of themselves. Are these traits positive or negative?
Try a grooming exercise, and have the client observe all parts of the horse, looking for any differences in the way things look or feel as compared to other parts of the horse. Are the chestnuts observed? Are they viewed as normal, ugly, possible wounds? How connected to the horse can get client become, or are they more withdrawn and find it difficult to physically and/or emotionally connect with the horse. Who in their life to they touch? What is this touch like? What if they touch the horse with different parts of their body, such as, not with their hands, but with their knee, leg, shoulder, head? What is their perception of the horse's response to them? If the horse walks away, comes near, ignores them, picks at the ground for food? What is important is to find out what it means to the person, not what we think it might mean. These tools help us find out where our client is, where they are in their life, what they see, and how they see it. If these perceptions are skewed, better to let them see it on their own, be a guide, don't correct them, or you will only emphasize their belief that others are judging them.
I remember a great demonstration regarding body dysmorphia at the 2011 EAGALA Conference. They called it "The Beauty Pageant". They had a pony and a donkey and several suitcases full of clothing and accessories. Volunteers were asked to spend time with their equid, getting to know them, and then dressing them accordingly. They were then asked to walk their dressed-up equid around for a beauty pageant, and talk about their experiences.
Recently, we purchased some clothing and various articles from Goodwill, and have been using them with families. We are fortunate to have the miniature horses, which makes this much easier!
